[It's funny that in all their time in Ariel now, they haven't spent much time over at their apartments. And for that matter, to see each other outside of work has been a rare occurrence too. When they were young they always walked to and from each other's houses whenever they wanted, and when they were in high school and finally had the chance to room together, it seemed they were virtually inseparable.
But back then when there was distance between them... it never hurt this much. It never felt so tangible.
Water splashes again as Rin lifts an arm above the water and stares down towards his outstretched hand with fingers splayed and slightly wrinkled from being submerged for so long. The cuts and bruises are long gone, lightly tanned skin patched and as it should be... But it still hurts. Deep down, it still hurts.]
I can look back sometimes if I want to, can't I? [said perhaps a bit wistfully before his wrist drops and his fingers curl down towards the water, no longer reaching.] I know I can't be there anymore, but--
[But just as soon as the thought hits him, it vanishes along with his longing. He's right. It's ridiculous. It's not like him at all. And with a defeated sigh Rin drops his hand back into the tub where it curls around his shins to join the first.
Maybe he just thought he could be happy there too.]
Never mind.
[And now it doesn't help his feelings any when Sousuke brings up the 'f' word. Fake... He's told Haru similar things, he's told him none of this here in Ariel exists back home-- Sure, it isn't like Rin to want something he can't have and it isn't like him to create unreachable and impossible expectations for himself, but... maybe this once. Just this once he'd like to know what it's like to forgo reality and hold onto a distraction, to force himself to be blissfully ignorant in favor of being happy.
That all explains why he doesn't laugh at Sousuke for speaking this way now and wishing for a dream they may never see come true.
... after all, Rin wants the same.]
What will you do when it does?
[No 'ifs'. He wants to imagine it. He wants something to look forward to.]
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Date: 2015-09-27 07:54 am (UTC)But back then when there was distance between them... it never hurt this much. It never felt so tangible.
Water splashes again as Rin lifts an arm above the water and stares down towards his outstretched hand with fingers splayed and slightly wrinkled from being submerged for so long. The cuts and bruises are long gone, lightly tanned skin patched and as it should be... But it still hurts. Deep down, it still hurts.]
I can look back sometimes if I want to, can't I? [said perhaps a bit wistfully before his wrist drops and his fingers curl down towards the water, no longer reaching.] I know I can't be there anymore, but--
[But just as soon as the thought hits him, it vanishes along with his longing. He's right. It's ridiculous. It's not like him at all. And with a defeated sigh Rin drops his hand back into the tub where it curls around his shins to join the first.
Maybe he just thought he could be happy there too.]
Never mind.
[And now it doesn't help his feelings any when Sousuke brings up the 'f' word. Fake... He's told Haru similar things, he's told him none of this here in Ariel exists back home-- Sure, it isn't like Rin to want something he can't have and it isn't like him to create unreachable and impossible expectations for himself, but... maybe this once. Just this once he'd like to know what it's like to forgo reality and hold onto a distraction, to force himself to be blissfully ignorant in favor of being happy.
That all explains why he doesn't laugh at Sousuke for speaking this way now and wishing for a dream they may never see come true.
... after all, Rin wants the same.]
What will you do when it does?
[No 'ifs'. He wants to imagine it. He wants something to look forward to.]