[All right. He won't argue that response. Come to think of it, they haven't even argued in a while, have they? What a surprise... He's not sure whether to be relieved or afraid. But he supposes it only makes sense. After all, the very last thing they need is more negativity to shove them farther apart. So he laughs again and this time makes an effort to wipe at his eyes with the back of one pruny hand.]
[Sousuke's tried not to dwell much on what they haven't done; it only makes him think of what they don't have together. And that creates problems. He's tried to accept it, pretend that it's all right. Just like he'd done for years now. But sometimes, it's not so easy. Those fights all the time, mixtures of a heated rage and playful teasing, don't really happen much anymore. Some part of him should be relieved; most of him simply misses it.
You're worth it too.
It's a nice thought. To hear Rin say it lays a gentle relief on his chest and settles some of the quiet waters stirring beneath the ice. He wants to believe it. Because Rin doesn't say those kinds of things as often as Sousuke does, strange as that is since the shark is far louder and direct about his feelings (most of the time) than the whale shark. Funny, that they can be so inverted compared to their usual selves sometimes.
But all of that goes on hold when he gives his answer. Those words that mean nothing, only cover up the truth until he finally says it. And then he's left with a gaping feeling, wondering. Did he come off as flippant, dismissive of Rin's feelings? Is he going too fast, making that kind of promise? Does Rin even want him to come over so quickly, right now? The only thing he can do is wait and listen... and finally offer a silent, self-depreciating smile at his own worries. Really, Sousuke, you think too much. How'd he think he could hide that from someone who knows him too well...
He's already pushing away from the window before Rin starts speaking. That understanding goes both ways, whether they like it or not.]
Aa.
[For a long time, he didn't “miss” Rin, merely understood he had to go and move on. But lies only stretch so far. That same, soft, sad smile appears again as he reaches up and rests his hand over the connector of his shoulder brace. And then quietly undoes the connector. The pressure and grip loosens and he tenses up slightly as everything pours down his arm and across his chest. It's relief and agony all at the same time and the strap slips off his torso with an easy motion. It is hard... letting Rin go every time he sees him.
I wish every meeting didn't end with a goodbye. I want to go home together and fall asleep to the sound of your breath. He's quiet as he works, peeling the black material away until the hard plastic shell loosens and slides off the curve of his shoulder. It's really a strange feeling each time, almost like putting on and taking off some kind of mask from his face. Because he knows he's lying. And Rin... his romantic, maniac, fiery, crybaby... beloved best friend... has no idea.
By the time Rin tells him the door's unlocked, Sousuke slides the brace off his arm completely and returns it to the secret place he stores it in. It's not much longer before he's pulling on a pair of clothes, simple jeans, a dark tank top, and a button down shirt to go over it.]
Wait for me.
[He heads to the front, leaves a note for Momotarou (though he thinks his roommate's already spending the night with a friend, last they talked, so probably a moot point), and slips on his shoes. Giving on last look around the townhouse, he finally steps out into the autumn air and locks the door behind him.]
no subject
[Sousuke's tried not to dwell much on what they haven't done; it only makes him think of what they don't have together. And that creates problems. He's tried to accept it, pretend that it's all right. Just like he'd done for years now. But sometimes, it's not so easy. Those fights all the time, mixtures of a heated rage and playful teasing, don't really happen much anymore. Some part of him should be relieved; most of him simply misses it.
You're worth it too.
It's a nice thought. To hear Rin say it lays a gentle relief on his chest and settles some of the quiet waters stirring beneath the ice. He wants to believe it. Because Rin doesn't say those kinds of things as often as Sousuke does, strange as that is since the shark is far louder and direct about his feelings (most of the time) than the whale shark. Funny, that they can be so inverted compared to their usual selves sometimes.
But all of that goes on hold when he gives his answer. Those words that mean nothing, only cover up the truth until he finally says it. And then he's left with a gaping feeling, wondering. Did he come off as flippant, dismissive of Rin's feelings? Is he going too fast, making that kind of promise? Does Rin even want him to come over so quickly, right now? The only thing he can do is wait and listen... and finally offer a silent, self-depreciating smile at his own worries. Really, Sousuke, you think too much. How'd he think he could hide that from someone who knows him too well...
He's already pushing away from the window before Rin starts speaking. That understanding goes both ways, whether they like it or not.]
Aa.
[For a long time, he didn't “miss” Rin, merely understood he had to go and move on. But lies only stretch so far. That same, soft, sad smile appears again as he reaches up and rests his hand over the connector of his shoulder brace. And then quietly undoes the connector. The pressure and grip loosens and he tenses up slightly as everything pours down his arm and across his chest. It's relief and agony all at the same time and the strap slips off his torso with an easy motion. It is hard... letting Rin go every time he sees him.
I wish every meeting didn't end with a goodbye. I want to go home together and fall asleep to the sound of your breath. He's quiet as he works, peeling the black material away until the hard plastic shell loosens and slides off the curve of his shoulder. It's really a strange feeling each time, almost like putting on and taking off some kind of mask from his face. Because he knows he's lying. And Rin... his romantic, maniac, fiery, crybaby... beloved best friend... has no idea.
By the time Rin tells him the door's unlocked, Sousuke slides the brace off his arm completely and returns it to the secret place he stores it in. It's not much longer before he's pulling on a pair of clothes, simple jeans, a dark tank top, and a button down shirt to go over it.]
Wait for me.
[He heads to the front, leaves a note for Momotarou (though he thinks his roommate's already spending the night with a friend, last they talked, so probably a moot point), and slips on his shoes. Giving on last look around the townhouse, he finally steps out into the autumn air and locks the door behind him.]
At least it's not raining tonight.