takenwithhim: (⚡ looking in everyone else's dream)
山崎 宗介 || Yamazaki Sōsuke ([personal profile] takenwithhim) wrote 2015-10-09 06:14 am (UTC)

[Each little taunt bumps against his heart, like a shark nudging against a swimmer's legs (and not in the hungry way). They keep him afloat, soft jabs and teases, reminding him of those other days in the past. There's been too little of that for what feels like forever. He appreciates his friends' comfort, Momotarou... he'd never have gotten through this without him, but no matter what he says to lie or does to distract himself, there's a hole in his chest, created one snowy afternoon on the way home from school, when he heard that his best friend was leaving for Australia.

I'm transferring to Iwatobi; I met some guys there I really wanna swim relay with.

… Maybe even before that.

A hole that only one person could make. And only one person can fill. He knows it's selfish, to want his best friend to be by his side, to tell him that's where he belongs. And he doesn't broadcast it either, quietly watching with those soft “I understand's” that always see Rin off to one dream and the next. Everyone thinks they're best friends. Sousuke doesn't want that to change in their eyes. Because when it's just to two of them, there's something there no one else can know, can create. He wants to keep it that way, guarding it. The thing that is theirs between them. Back then. At Samezuka. Now here in Ariel...

Even if the last chapter is horridly black. What happened remains in his mind, coloring his thoughts and his feelings. It's stained now, the once-pure thing they have together. Healed, but scarred. It's the thing in the back of his mind that unconsciously also quickens his pace. He wants to be by his side again, to feel the warmth of his body and hear the sound of his voice, to see him as proof that you're really here with me again.

He wishes he didn't feel this way, even around Rin. He's tried his hardest to avoid it, kept it locked inside, safe and secure. But it's out now... and he can no more deny it feels right than deny he doesn't love the water. Rin, means so much to him. So much more than he can ever say...]


I want to always make you feel like that.

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