[It must be blatantly obvious what he's doing right now. Calling Sousuke in the first place, leading him on, asking him to meet him face to face while he's goddamn naked in his stupid bathroom... It's obvious. He needs help. But of course there may never be a time when Rin asks for that out loud. He only trusts Sousuke to understand and pick up on it as he usually can, those tiny hints and nudges just the two of them can read.
... But how many times will Sousuke understand for him? How many times will he bend and twist just because Rin says so? Thinking those things makes his stomach ache and he clenches a fist over his sternum to press down where he can feel his heartbeat speeding up. He's awful. Asking for everything, greedily taking and wanting– What if Sousuke's only doing this to humor Rin? What if it's not what he needs himself? It's more stupid and heavy thinking though and Rin swallows to push down the lump forming in his throat because of it.]
I want to do that for you too.
[he blurts it out, voice wavering only a little, fist tightening over his heart.]
no subject
... But how many times will Sousuke understand for him? How many times will he bend and twist just because Rin says so? Thinking those things makes his stomach ache and he clenches a fist over his sternum to press down where he can feel his heartbeat speeding up. He's awful. Asking for everything, greedily taking and wanting– What if Sousuke's only doing this to humor Rin? What if it's not what he needs himself? It's more stupid and heavy thinking though and Rin swallows to push down the lump forming in his throat because of it.]
I want to do that for you too.
[he blurts it out, voice wavering only a little, fist tightening over his heart.]
I don't want to be useless to you...