[Rin never told Sousuke how it felt when he left him that first day, stepping through the elevator at the end of the hall and watching his best friend disappear behind his apartment door just as he had when they were children, fading away slowly in the distance as his bus pulled out into the street. It felt... strange, to say the least, and that night it took him a little longer than normal to fall asleep.
Coming back here all those days later felt even stranger, because every time they went their separate ways, he would look up towards his ceiling and frown when he couldn't see the bottom of another bunk over his head instead. He wasn't like Haru--he didn't commit to solid routines and he needed constant change to function--so why was he like this now? Why did he find himself waking up in the morning to look for a bunk to kick or a certain someone to pester into waking up too? He'd gone a few years without it anyway...
Hardly anything makes sense these days anymore and its gotten to the point where he's become content with accepting anything that comes his way. Even his feelings for Haru and Haru's feelings for him, all those things Sousuke confessed to him the first time they raced each other and ended up kissing over each other's lanes-- If it feels right in the present and he can see it feeling right in the future, can it really be fake?
What if he can even make it... real?
It's that question which keeps him afloat and has him calling Sousuke like this in the first place. It's that question which has him coming back every time and soon relaxing in the water once Sousuke starts to speak. See? All those things don't seem impossible, right? There's nothing to hold them back from seeing it come to life whenever and however they want... right?]
... Heh.
[A bittersweet smile tugs at his lips as he presses his forehead to his knees and despite his best efforts ends up watching a tear or two drip down the bridge of his nose and into the water below. He knows just how to tug at his heartstrings, doesn't he...]
You're so romantic.
[he says it with a small hiccup and a laugh, probably giving away that he's starting to cry even a little. Suddenly, the patch of skin at the back of his neck starts to tingle and he has to bring up a hand to cover it, fingers tracing along where a certain mark used to be. It's been long enough now that it's faded completely...]
[Some part of him never wanted to know what Rin thought that day; he didn't know how he'd react if he knew. Angry, sad, apathetic, understanding? The facts had already been laid clear: Rin was living with someone and Sousuke couldn't, didn't, expect him to simply uproot himself and move in with him. But it brought back those same feelings, watching the bus grow smaller and smaller as it carried his best friend away to a strange world Sousuke would never get to see, much less follow after him to. But sometimes, he wondered... whether Rin had been able to sleep well that night.
It lingered like a ghost in his life. Even after Momotarou moved in with him, after he and Rin settled into their respective life patterns now that each other were included once again, the memories remained. Occasionally Sousuke sat up slower, half-worried he'd hit his head against the low-hanging dorm ceiling. As much as he knew it risked a burden, he couldn't shake the past, didn't want to. The past was where he'd been happy, rooming with Rin was where he'd been happy... so to find his feet on the floor when he slipped out of bed without having to reach for the ladder... to not be able to roll over and look at the bunk below to answer a question, glare after a kick-to-the-ass-from-below, talk to Rin at night without having to resort to these strange “phone calls” in his head... He missed them.
Why should he? He'd gone so many years without that. Hell, he'd only experienced it for a few months at best.
But Ariel's a changing place and Sousuke, despite his attempts to dig his heels in, has finally had enough of the proverbial leash jerking him off his feet. He's a fish in a current, not strong enough to swim against it successfully, and so goes along with it now, doing what he can to protect the people he cares about. From Momotarou's confession and their strange, exploring-boyfriends relationship to the quiet acceptance of his ocean-floor-hidden love for his best friend, it's one more piece of life thrown at him by this city that cares nothing for the heart. It should all be false, simply more things in the current.
So why... why does it feel so real? Enough he wants to make it real...
It's the curiosity behind his answer to Rin's question that sits on his tongue, still burning from those soft words. They're dangerous words, threatening to do the one thing he's promised himself he'd never do to Rin: to get in his way. But whenever he hears his best friend's voice, sees his face, spends time with him, he feels content, like floating in the pool waters he loves so much. If these are the feelings he gets, when he feels so “home” with Rin... how can it be foolish to want to hold onto them and brush away all the “impossible” from their surface?
A soft, sad smile smooths across Sousuke's face. He hears those two gentle 'plips' in the water, knows what they are without even seeing. I've made you cry again, haven't I. There's nothing he can do to escape that fate. But at least he can comfort himself in thinking those tears aren't all saddness.]
I'm just being honest; you're the romantic one, asking me those questions...
[Rin will never get him to confess to that; after all, Sousuke's called his best friend the “romantic swimming maniac” before and he's not about to accept that title for himself. The breeze rustles the curtains again, tugging at his bangs as he gazes up to the dark sky once again. Romantic, hm... His lips burn a little and he lifts his hand to rub at the side of his neck, trying not to admit the ghostly feeling of a warm mouth and sharp teeth appears once again. Always so close, yet so far away.
The final words come and he lowers his gaze, the smile fading into a quiet somber. I never want you to know... just how “good” I am.]
[He laughs again because he doesn't want the mood to tank. Keep it alive, keep it lighthearted, so they can continue to pull through everything together. But when he hand slips back into the water and enough bubbles have popped for him to see his reflection below, Rin's smile fades just a little when he realizes just how relative that word is now. "Together." How can they even be together if they haven't seen one another for so long and gone without each other's voice all the same? He wants to say this tragedy brought them closer to one another–really, it has–but... Sousuke's still just out of reach.
It's then that something brand new hits his heart and has Rin's fingers coiling into loose fists. For once, he wants his best friend all for himself. For once, perhaps, he's jealous.
Why shouldn't I be closer to you right now? When I've known you longer than anyone else, when we've called each other friends and rivals long before we even knew how to swim just right... How many times will someone take you farther away from me?
It eats at his heart and Rin swallows thickly as if that will help him calm down. Because it's irrational thinking. It's backwards thinking. ... But it's the only thing his body can think of to feel remotely better. His skin's been the most unblemished it's ever been since he first arrived to Ariel. He hasn't longed for much more than a slight touch in weeks. You'd think he'd feel normal. You'd think, at last, something might have short circuited in that chip and turned him back to the way he was. ... No. If anything, he's felt so distant from himself ever since that horrible storm.
And yet when he thinks about Sousuke and the smell of rain in his skin... he's real again. He's him, he's Rin, he's home.]
... When can I see you again?
[he asks it quietly but expectantly as he finally lifts his head.]
[How else can he answer that question? Sousuke has to smile a little at the laugh again, knowing Rin wants to keep the conversation lighter, and he silently admonishes himself for letting it falter for a bit. But it's hard to do that; both of them miss each other. Rin wouldn't have called him, they wouldn't have said the things they said right now. Every word, every breath, all of it's lingering heavy with that simple idea. How hard both of them had tried to pretend so long ago that they didn't “miss” the people important to them. That loneliness had no affect on them. And look at where that stubbornness had gotten both of them... one wrecked emotionally and the other wrecked physically.
Neither shark is as solitary as he says.
Sousuke quietly glances from one star to the next. It's really been a long time since they've seen each other, but he knows why. Work's been busy and Rin... well... both of them have someone else. They don't live together anymore. He knows the struggle that jade feeling brings and he's done his best to harden himself against it, fearing what it may make him want to do, fearing that it may make him hurt his best friend. But it's there... still lingering, hiding beneath the “overprotective” and “best friend” titles. He says he's looking out for Rin's future, clearing the way for him to reach his goals uninterrupted... but in reality, if he's honest...
I want to be the one you come home to.
He's said that to him, right to his face, only a few moments ago. How clear can that be? It's rude and it's cruel, but it's true. I don't want to go home just because we'll swim again. I want to go home because we're together... with no one else. As close to “how it used to be” as I can get.
But he can't say those things here; that'll only make more trouble for Rin. So he does what he always does and swallows the thoughts down, knowing they'll always be there, eroding at his heart and mind in the background. It's wrong, but it makes him feel better... a little bit. Even if he's thrown himself back into “the normal” as much as possible, pretending that everything's fine, that he's once again the strong, immovable one... Sousuke knows the truth. A front, a fake, hollowed out on the inside. Ever since the storm, he's been living a lie again, a new one atop the previous one. But this one, he knows, he and Rin are living together.
And that's what's important to him. Not lies, not pain, not swimming, not Ariel... but simply the fact he's together with Rin. In one way or another. He can remember the warmth of his skin, he thinks about the touch of his lips, the very real sound of his voice without the blockade of a paper letter. He's alive, he's real. Even here.]
Hm? [Oh, a question. When...] Um... [Last time, they'd run across the city and met in the middle of a rainstorm (and while he has no regrets about it, the cold afterward had not been fun). Because the very real answer is “I can head over there now” if Rin wants... Sousuke'll offer it without a second's hesitation. Except for the obvious reality that they're... not... living together.
He barters for more time with a soft hum, warring between the two ideas.]
We could meet tomorrow for coffee or breakfast before work. Or lunch, since we're both on shift. [Another pause.] Maybe we can go out to dinner afterwards...
[And falls silent, his smile vanishing. Because those are all lies. They're not what he wants. And he knows it. And Rin knows it. His eyes lower and he lists over the sidewalk below, voice dropping to something quiet and intimate, unable to hide the longing in his words.]
[All right. He won't argue that response. Come to think of it, they haven't even argued in a while, have they? What a surprise... He's not sure whether to be relieved or afraid. But he supposes it only makes sense. After all, the very last thing they need is more negativity to shove them farther apart. So he laughs again and this time makes an effort to wipe at his eyes with the back of one pruny hand.]
You're worth it too.
[And he means it, even if he doesn't show it or express it as well as Sousuke. Funny, considering between the two of them, Rin's usually the first to react to anything, never afraid to let his emotions off the leash.
Oh, but his question– Rin stares forward as Sousuke thinks, his eyes absently watching his distorted reflection in the tub faucet, and for a moment he starts to curl his toes with anticipation. Maybe he's... being too pushy about this. Or needy. Maybe Sousuke doesn't even want to see him yet. Thankfully, that doesn't seem to be the case, and Rin can breathe a little easier knowing he's just worried over nothing at all. And yet– It's far too easy to tell the emptiness behind those suggestions. He knows him too well.
... Rin sighs and the water around him, now turning cold, splashes a bit as he shifts again to keep his legs from falling asleep.]
You know what would happen if I told you to do that.
[Another bittersweet smile, though it falters a little the more he speaks]
It'd be hard... letting you go again. Weeks and years–
[I don't want to see you only to watch you go and stay gone for so long again. You can't turn into only words too. Rin shakes his head because he knows how dumb it sounds and how ridiculous he must be acting to be thinking this way in the first place... but he can't help himself either.]
... I'll leave the door unlocked.
[Who is he kidding. Come to me right now. Please.]
[All right. He won't argue that response. Come to think of it, they haven't even argued in a while, have they? What a surprise... He's not sure whether to be relieved or afraid. But he supposes it only makes sense. After all, the very last thing they need is more negativity to shove them farther apart. So he laughs again and this time makes an effort to wipe at his eyes with the back of one pruny hand.]
[Sousuke's tried not to dwell much on what they haven't done; it only makes him think of what they don't have together. And that creates problems. He's tried to accept it, pretend that it's all right. Just like he'd done for years now. But sometimes, it's not so easy. Those fights all the time, mixtures of a heated rage and playful teasing, don't really happen much anymore. Some part of him should be relieved; most of him simply misses it.
You're worth it too.
It's a nice thought. To hear Rin say it lays a gentle relief on his chest and settles some of the quiet waters stirring beneath the ice. He wants to believe it. Because Rin doesn't say those kinds of things as often as Sousuke does, strange as that is since the shark is far louder and direct about his feelings (most of the time) than the whale shark. Funny, that they can be so inverted compared to their usual selves sometimes.
But all of that goes on hold when he gives his answer. Those words that mean nothing, only cover up the truth until he finally says it. And then he's left with a gaping feeling, wondering. Did he come off as flippant, dismissive of Rin's feelings? Is he going too fast, making that kind of promise? Does Rin even want him to come over so quickly, right now? The only thing he can do is wait and listen... and finally offer a silent, self-depreciating smile at his own worries. Really, Sousuke, you think too much. How'd he think he could hide that from someone who knows him too well...
He's already pushing away from the window before Rin starts speaking. That understanding goes both ways, whether they like it or not.]
Aa.
[For a long time, he didn't “miss” Rin, merely understood he had to go and move on. But lies only stretch so far. That same, soft, sad smile appears again as he reaches up and rests his hand over the connector of his shoulder brace. And then quietly undoes the connector. The pressure and grip loosens and he tenses up slightly as everything pours down his arm and across his chest. It's relief and agony all at the same time and the strap slips off his torso with an easy motion. It is hard... letting Rin go every time he sees him.
I wish every meeting didn't end with a goodbye. I want to go home together and fall asleep to the sound of your breath. He's quiet as he works, peeling the black material away until the hard plastic shell loosens and slides off the curve of his shoulder. It's really a strange feeling each time, almost like putting on and taking off some kind of mask from his face. Because he knows he's lying. And Rin... his romantic, maniac, fiery, crybaby... beloved best friend... has no idea.
By the time Rin tells him the door's unlocked, Sousuke slides the brace off his arm completely and returns it to the secret place he stores it in. It's not much longer before he's pulling on a pair of clothes, simple jeans, a dark tank top, and a button down shirt to go over it.]
Wait for me.
[He heads to the front, leaves a note for Momotarou (though he thinks his roommate's already spending the night with a friend, last they talked, so probably a moot point), and slips on his shoes. Giving on last look around the townhouse, he finally steps out into the autumn air and locks the door behind him.]
[Rin worries how Sousuke might perceive him after he answers. Will he start to think he's needy or desperate, maybe even clingy? Can he still look at him like he did before when they spoke on the gun range and tell him directly that he's still Rin and nothing will ever change that? Because sitting here alone, curled up and already starting to shiver, Rin doesn't feel quite like himself anymore. He should have been in bed hours ago. He should have gone for his evening run and ate a little better at dinner before Haru had to leave to visit Makoto down the street. ... He shouldn't feel this lonely, but he is.
Rin. You think too much.
Shaking his head, he finds some odd comfort in listening to Sousuke quietly move around on the other end even without looking he can already guess what he's doing. He's putting on pants, maybe a plain shirt or tank top, and a clean button down like he always does... Hm. His predictable, silly, quiet and lovable idiot of a best friend... Just how long are they going to be this way?]
Mm, wouldn't want you to get sick again.
[he says with a laugh, head tilted back while he stretches his legs out in the tub. There's hardly any heat left in the bath and almost all the suds have popped by now, so Rin slowly pushes himself up so he can step out and proceed to leave a nice trail of water on the bathroom floor and all the way out into the hallway. He's not bothering with clothes right now just to saunter over and unlock the front door, but he has to admit, the look his cat gives him before darting away into the kitchen is almost worth it. A scoff and he heads back to drain the water.]
And I'm not exactly dressed to go running after you this time either.
[Sometimes oftentimes he finds himself wondering the same. As headstrong and self-reliant as he is, “who is Sousuke now?” drifts around his mind. He knows Rin's thinking the same thing. Both of them have such pride with those tall ambitions and intense focuses. He's told Rin before that nothing Ariel does can stop Rin from being Rin... but... how can he say that when “Sousuke” doesn't feel like himself in his own skin. “Sousuke” doesn't go walking out into a city in the middle of the night. “Sousuke” doesn't stand around naked with his shoulder brace on staring up at the stars. “Sousuke” doesn't get broken... “Sousuke” doesn't feel lonely.
But you're lying.
He sighs, glancing over his shoulder towards his townhouse again. Someday, he needs to learn not to think so much. Whatever happened to all that self-reliance? Or has it become just another mask to wear? He contents himself with the soft sounds of Rin still in the tub, idly wondering how long he's been in there as he turns to face the sidewalk again, shoving his hands into his pockets like normal. Ne, Rin... Are we ever going to get better?]
Hn, you got sick too, so shut up.
[He has to laugh a little at the memory. It remains in his heart, tender and ever-warm. The night he finally confessed those feelings. He glances up at the sudden sound of sloshing water. Without the sound of a towel whipping off the hook either. Honestly, Rin...]
I see. Make me get dressed and walk while you walk around naked and pour water all over the floor.
[But it was worth it, he finds, and looking back on it, it's one of their more memorable moments together, if he's honest. Something straight out of the silver screen, something cheesy and cute and what he's sure Gou would have dragged him to watch on the weekends back home. Sometimes he still can't believe this isn't all a dream...
The water's gurgling as it circles down the drain and in the meantime, Rin reaches over towards the towel rack so he can properly dry himself off. ... Or at least he would if not for Sousuke's last comment. He pauses and with a small grin lowers his arm instead.]
[For Sousuke, it's the one moment here in Ariel he wants to remember more than any of them. There are several he treasures, even in this stupid place, but that memory... was the romantic maniac his best friend always was. Normally he would've scoffed at the idea of Rin and himself even being a part of one of those scenes. But... it happened, and he loved it. Finally getting to say those words.
There's the water draining... and he's still not hearing any flip of towel from hook or rung. He's about to ask when a question comes through. Oh really... is this the game they're going to play now? It's not like he can't hear that grin in your voice, Rin.]
[He can only smile at that because, yeah... yeah, it was worth it. And maybe he'd even do it again, if, you know, the weather permitted it. But his will do for now. Something quiet and simple, not nearly as dramatic but no less romantic now that he thinks about it. He's sure he's letting himself be blinded by this, but he's far too swept away to worry now. Anything and everything they can do to feel normal again, he'll do it.]
A little? Ouch.
[This time he does reach for his towel and after tugging it from the rack he holds it in both hands, contemplating if he should drape it over his head or tie it around his waist... Which would make Sousuke complain more?]
[Even if the weather doesn't permit it, Sousuke'd do it again. Obviously, since he's walking across the city again right now. Such a good puppy. And even though he denies it with all the nonchalance and apathetic seriousness of his normal nature... his heart feels lighter inside simply because he walking over to see Rin. … Dammit. That's some kind of romantic feeling and it's all Rin's fault. Next thing you know, he'll be seeing cherry blossoms in the Grind's pool.]
Don't “ouch” me. You know why I'm complai--
[That sound is unmistakable; the towel's off the rack and he knows Rin's holding it. Still hasn't wrapped it or draped it yet... (man, you think he'd shared a bathroom with the guy at some point to know this kind of stuff). He frowns and picks up his pace. Just a little.]
He holds back a laugh as water drips from his hair onto the floor and he can't help but shiver too since, you know, he is stark naked. It'll be worth it though, if he can listen to Sousuke talk like this for a little while longer. He still has the towel in his hands but the most he does is stare at it, contemplating. Or at least pretending to.
Hey, if it might get Sousuke to him faster, then why not?]
How? You said you were complaining a little. I'm just trying to do something nice for you.
He heaves an obvious sigh across the network, hoping it weighs down on Rin's shoulders for even a moment. Putting the tease on him while he's walking over to his place. This is one of the times he questions why they're still friends. Surely a best friend wouldn't be doing this kind of thing right now.]
[All right. So maybe it does weigh on him even a little bit. But he refuses to be so easily swayed no matter how tempting it is and soon with the towel haphazardly tossed back onto the rack he turns away and starts absently running a hand through his hair, rubbing at his scalp and humming softly when it starts to feel... nice.]
You will be.
[But a beat later, quieter and a little breathy,]
... But will you be here in time to still see me all wet?
[Good. He meant it to. Though he still gets treated to the sound of the towel falling onto the rack again. Definitely not on Rin's body. He turns another corner, very grateful that he recognizes the street sign and road. Things look different at night than in the daytime.
Rin's humming... Sousuke relaxes a little, his gait smoothing as he settles into the sound.]
I know.
[Ugh, that question. In that voice. The correct answer is, “Yes” so long as he doesn't get lost. But he totally knows where he's going! He'll be there on time.]
If you're dry by then, I wouldn't say no to getting you all wet again.
[He's belatedly realizing Sousuke still has that awful sense of direction and for a moment he worried he might have just sent his best friend to his doom. It's not like Sousuke would even ask him for directions either, so there's no telling if he's really lost or not. Lucky enough for Sousuke though, Rin trusts him just enough to leave the subject untouched for a little while longer... but he swears if he doesn't show up in the next ten minutes or so, he's putting some pants on and going out to look.
Sighing, he leans up against the wall beside the towel rack and tucks a few damp strands of hair behind his ear to keep himself occupied. Those words...]
Mmn, but I just finished getting clean.
[And as if for emphasis, he lets a hand pass over his still slick skin, starting at his stomach then making its way down to his right thigh. Yeah. Sure does still sound and feel wet to him... but not for much longer.]
[He can find his own way, thank you very much. Because he's sure that sign right there looks similar to the one he normally sees on the way to Rin's place. … Right? Double check. Yeah, it's the same sign. Now... is it left or right at the sign? He stands for a little while, thinking before making his choice and pretends he's never paused at all. The thought to ask Rin for clarification doesn't even dare enter his mind. He's going to trust his senses to get him there though. Because Rin's wet and waiting for him. And that's a good lure no matter how bad his directional sense is.]
I meant I'd get in the tub with you, romantic pervert.
[Sure. Sousuke's not saying anything though as he reaches up and races a hand through his hair. Honestly, lounging in a warm bath with Rin sounds like a great idea right now--]
... are you rubbing yourself like that on purpose?
[He might not be able to prove that Sousuke's pausing to look around and just a little closer at things to figure out exactly where he's going, but Rin can already guess anyway. They've been best friends for how long, and how many times has he had to prod at him to just ask for directions already? Still, he doesn't bring it up... and, ok, that first comment is probably to blame for that.
Get in the tub with him...]
I just drained all the water, you know. And my fingers are going to shrivel up.
[Still, there's no denying that does sound like a great idea. Besides, the tub's big enough (it was the only thing Haru cared about when they searched for an apartment for themselves at first). But onto that question,]
[Never. He's never going to ask for directions from Rin. Too much pride to admit he was lost and needed a certain someone to come get him. The size of the pout on his face when they were kids and his mother told Rin to “take care walking Sousuke home from school; he gets lost easily” … right in front of him! Of course he didn't say a word to Rin the entire trip to school that day, jeeze.]
Then you can watch me soak in the tub while you play with your hair dryer.
[Don't lie; he knows you'll sit there for minutes on end just doe-eyeing at the mirror as you pass the drier back and forth in front of your face. Sure, “it's for my hair” only works the first three times. Besides, he can use a soak in the top. Frosting himself in front of the window and now walking over here. It's earned.
A soft growl comes over the network (maybe hiding a whine).]
Oh, so that's how you're going to be? Come all this way to steal my bathtub...
[Rin clicks his tongue and soon after he glances up at the vanity mirror across from him so he can take in his reflection for the first time that evening. It's funny... He's been avoiding looking at himself for a long time, too afraid of the memories that will undoubtably stir when he sees the fading marks and scuffs on his naked body. But they're gone now and nothing remains but Rin himself, standing cold and dripping... maybe a little slimmer since he hasn't been as on top of his diet lately.
One arm crosses over his chest and out of habit his free one comes up one more time so the pads of his fingers brush the back and side of his neck.]
... Anyway. I can think of better things I'd want to play with.
[Up to interpretation, but with the way he says it–slower and tapered off with a purr–there should only be one to consider.]
[The smirk in his voice is clear and he rounds another corner, grateful to find himself still recognizing the area around him. He wishes he could get there faster, knowing Rin's still standing around, dripping and probably cold. He knows what he wants but... That purring voice drifts into his ears and Sousuke can't help a little shiver rush down the length of his spine. Seriously, Rin, how cruel, doing that to him when he knows full well how it affects him. Stupid purr...]
Careful. Those things might play with you back
[How long's it been since he's engaged in this kind of playful double entendre banter? Teasing that usually came so easily with Rin. It rolls off his tongue and yet he wonders if it'll suddenly sound weird at any moment. Sousuke pushes the thought away, not wanting this to dive down again. Another thing that's anonyingly frequent around them now... His voice is a little softer when he speaks again.]
Oy, you should dry off, get warm. I'll be another few minutes and I don't want you catching cold.
[Which is of course a lie, but, they're on a roll with this fun and immature behavior tonight. He doesn't want to see that fire die out too soon. That's one of the reasons why he kept his towel on the rack and why he's still standing around with cold feet and red cheeks even at the expense of his poor cat's sanity.
It's hard to keep poking fun at Sousuke when he expresses his concern though, because lately– Lately it's been really getting to him and turning his heart into mush. They do look out for each other, they do have one another's back, but saying it and showing it like this, so gently and sincere...? He almost wants to pinch himself.
What happened in Australia? I never asked before... but now I think I need to know.
Rin doesn't say anything right away, too occupied with staring at the sink and tracing meaningless shapes against his neck, but when he does, he tries to match Sousuke's soft tone as best he can, determined to meet him eye to eye and keep them balanced as they always should be.]
... Sousuke.
[he starts, any hint of teasing gone from his voice, though his tone is light and airy... hopeful.]
[Definitely sounds like he believes that. He's still walking forward, in cause you haven't noticed. Even though he could turn around and go home right now. Which he won't. Obviously. It feels nice though, tossing those taunts and boyish things back at each other one after the other. He double takes on the street name again, makes a face when the raunchy title checks out. (Honestly, Ariel, even the streets?)
But he can't help the concern; it's just... something. Natural maybe. Rin's that important to him and even though they respect those boundaries between each other, it's not the first time Sousuke's nagged Rin to do something healthy. Oy, put a bandaid on it before it gets infected. Teacher's gonna yell at you for running with those scissors. Hey Gou, if Rin wears this magic hat, it'll make him feel better. He was such a good little brat back then.
Now, however, there aren't as many grins or smug faces, but the softer voice and eyes, honestly concerned about his best friend's comfort. It's horribly cliché, but when Rin feels better, Sousuke feels better. It's why he's willing to accept his fate so long as it means Rin will get to be happy in his... He can live with that.]
Hm?
[It's a small noise, the sound of interrupted thoughts, and he glances up from the sidewalk, as if he might see Rin standing beside him. But there's no one; Rin's still in his head. So he holds onto his voice, as much as he's held onto the letters in the past. A favor?]
[Yeah... Nice homes, decent neighborhoods, all along the stretch of Seaman Ave. and Cumming St.. Welcome to Ariel, indeed.
Anyway, he does appreciate the concern, even when it turns to nagging, especially now more than ever when he could use a reminder now and again to look out for himself a little better. But he isn't naked on accident here. He isn't sick in bed on Christmas morning because he accidentally spent too much time in the cold without a scarf. He isn't sniffling over a scratch on the knee after tripping in front of the wharf. He's purposely stripped down right now because he wants Sousuke to show up sooner. He wants to hear him nag, he wants to hear him talk about it and talk about him. Selfish, he knows, but he can't help it.
... He misses him.
After taking a deep breath, he crosses his arms and holds onto both elbows, head hung for damp and cold bangs to cover his face and let water drip onto his toes.]
... When you open my door– Can you say what you usually say? Like when we come back to our dorm at school at the end of the day...
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2015-10-02 02:26 am (UTC)Coming back here all those days later felt even stranger, because every time they went their separate ways, he would look up towards his ceiling and frown when he couldn't see the bottom of another bunk over his head instead. He wasn't like Haru--he didn't commit to solid routines and he needed constant change to function--so why was he like this now? Why did he find himself waking up in the morning to look for a bunk to kick or a certain someone to pester into waking up too? He'd gone a few years without it anyway...
Hardly anything makes sense these days anymore and its gotten to the point where he's become content with accepting anything that comes his way. Even his feelings for Haru and Haru's feelings for him, all those things Sousuke confessed to him the first time they raced each other and ended up kissing over each other's lanes-- If it feels right in the present and he can see it feeling right in the future, can it really be fake?
What if he can even make it... real?
It's that question which keeps him afloat and has him calling Sousuke like this in the first place. It's that question which has him coming back every time and soon relaxing in the water once Sousuke starts to speak. See? All those things don't seem impossible, right? There's nothing to hold them back from seeing it come to life whenever and however they want... right?]
... Heh.
[A bittersweet smile tugs at his lips as he presses his forehead to his knees and despite his best efforts ends up watching a tear or two drip down the bridge of his nose and into the water below. He knows just how to tug at his heartstrings, doesn't he...]
You're so romantic.
[he says it with a small hiccup and a laugh, probably giving away that he's starting to cry even a little. Suddenly, the patch of skin at the back of his neck starts to tingle and he has to bring up a hand to cover it, fingers tracing along where a certain mark used to be. It's been long enough now that it's faded completely...]
... You're too good to me.
no subject
Date: 2015-10-06 03:37 am (UTC)It lingered like a ghost in his life. Even after Momotarou moved in with him, after he and Rin settled into their respective life patterns now that each other were included once again, the memories remained. Occasionally Sousuke sat up slower, half-worried he'd hit his head against the low-hanging dorm ceiling. As much as he knew it risked a burden, he couldn't shake the past, didn't want to. The past was where he'd been happy, rooming with Rin was where he'd been happy... so to find his feet on the floor when he slipped out of bed without having to reach for the ladder... to not be able to roll over and look at the bunk below to answer a question, glare after a kick-to-the-ass-from-below, talk to Rin at night without having to resort to these strange “phone calls” in his head... He missed them.
Why should he? He'd gone so many years without that. Hell, he'd only experienced it for a few months at best.
But Ariel's a changing place and Sousuke, despite his attempts to dig his heels in, has finally had enough of the proverbial leash jerking him off his feet. He's a fish in a current, not strong enough to swim against it successfully, and so goes along with it now, doing what he can to protect the people he cares about. From Momotarou's confession and their strange, exploring-boyfriends relationship to the quiet acceptance of his ocean-floor-hidden love for his best friend, it's one more piece of life thrown at him by this city that cares nothing for the heart. It should all be false, simply more things in the current.
So why... why does it feel so real? Enough he wants to make it real...
It's the curiosity behind his answer to Rin's question that sits on his tongue, still burning from those soft words. They're dangerous words, threatening to do the one thing he's promised himself he'd never do to Rin: to get in his way. But whenever he hears his best friend's voice, sees his face, spends time with him, he feels content, like floating in the pool waters he loves so much. If these are the feelings he gets, when he feels so “home” with Rin... how can it be foolish to want to hold onto them and brush away all the “impossible” from their surface?
A soft, sad smile smooths across Sousuke's face. He hears those two gentle 'plips' in the water, knows what they are without even seeing. I've made you cry again, haven't I. There's nothing he can do to escape that fate. But at least he can comfort himself in thinking those tears aren't all saddness.]
I'm just being honest; you're the romantic one, asking me those questions...
[Rin will never get him to confess to that; after all, Sousuke's called his best friend the “romantic swimming maniac” before and he's not about to accept that title for himself. The breeze rustles the curtains again, tugging at his bangs as he gazes up to the dark sky once again. Romantic, hm... His lips burn a little and he lifts his hand to rub at the side of his neck, trying not to admit the ghostly feeling of a warm mouth and sharp teeth appears once again. Always so close, yet so far away.
The final words come and he lowers his gaze, the smile fading into a quiet somber. I never want you to know... just how “good” I am.]
… Aa. Because you're worth it.
no subject
Date: 2015-10-06 06:37 am (UTC)[He laughs again because he doesn't want the mood to tank. Keep it alive, keep it lighthearted, so they can continue to pull through everything together. But when he hand slips back into the water and enough bubbles have popped for him to see his reflection below, Rin's smile fades just a little when he realizes just how relative that word is now. "Together." How can they even be together if they haven't seen one another for so long and gone without each other's voice all the same? He wants to say this tragedy brought them closer to one another–really, it has–but... Sousuke's still just out of reach.
It's then that something brand new hits his heart and has Rin's fingers coiling into loose fists. For once, he wants his best friend all for himself. For once, perhaps, he's jealous.
Why shouldn't I be closer to you right now? When I've known you longer than anyone else, when we've called each other friends and rivals long before we even knew how to swim just right... How many times will someone take you farther away from me?
It eats at his heart and Rin swallows thickly as if that will help him calm down. Because it's irrational thinking. It's backwards thinking. ... But it's the only thing his body can think of to feel remotely better. His skin's been the most unblemished it's ever been since he first arrived to Ariel. He hasn't longed for much more than a slight touch in weeks. You'd think he'd feel normal. You'd think, at last, something might have short circuited in that chip and turned him back to the way he was. ... No. If anything, he's felt so distant from himself ever since that horrible storm.
And yet when he thinks about Sousuke and the smell of rain in his skin... he's real again. He's him, he's Rin, he's home.]
... When can I see you again?
[he asks it quietly but expectantly as he finally lifts his head.]
no subject
Date: 2015-10-06 07:27 am (UTC)[How else can he answer that question? Sousuke has to smile a little at the laugh again, knowing Rin wants to keep the conversation lighter, and he silently admonishes himself for letting it falter for a bit. But it's hard to do that; both of them miss each other. Rin wouldn't have called him, they wouldn't have said the things they said right now. Every word, every breath, all of it's lingering heavy with that simple idea. How hard both of them had tried to pretend so long ago that they didn't “miss” the people important to them. That loneliness had no affect on them. And look at where that stubbornness had gotten both of them... one wrecked emotionally and the other wrecked physically.
Neither shark is as solitary as he says.
Sousuke quietly glances from one star to the next. It's really been a long time since they've seen each other, but he knows why. Work's been busy and Rin... well... both of them have someone else. They don't live together anymore. He knows the struggle that jade feeling brings and he's done his best to harden himself against it, fearing what it may make him want to do, fearing that it may make him hurt his best friend. But it's there... still lingering, hiding beneath the “overprotective” and “best friend” titles. He says he's looking out for Rin's future, clearing the way for him to reach his goals uninterrupted... but in reality, if he's honest...
I want to be the one you come home to.
He's said that to him, right to his face, only a few moments ago. How clear can that be? It's rude and it's cruel, but it's true. I don't want to go home just because we'll swim again. I want to go home because we're together... with no one else. As close to “how it used to be” as I can get.
But he can't say those things here; that'll only make more trouble for Rin. So he does what he always does and swallows the thoughts down, knowing they'll always be there, eroding at his heart and mind in the background. It's wrong, but it makes him feel better... a little bit. Even if he's thrown himself back into “the normal” as much as possible, pretending that everything's fine, that he's once again the strong, immovable one... Sousuke knows the truth. A front, a fake, hollowed out on the inside. Ever since the storm, he's been living a lie again, a new one atop the previous one. But this one, he knows, he and Rin are living together.
And that's what's important to him. Not lies, not pain, not swimming, not Ariel... but simply the fact he's together with Rin. In one way or another. He can remember the warmth of his skin, he thinks about the touch of his lips, the very real sound of his voice without the blockade of a paper letter. He's alive, he's real. Even here.]
Hm? [Oh, a question. When...] Um... [Last time, they'd run across the city and met in the middle of a rainstorm (and while he has no regrets about it, the cold afterward had not been fun). Because the very real answer is “I can head over there now” if Rin wants... Sousuke'll offer it without a second's hesitation. Except for the obvious reality that they're... not... living together.
He barters for more time with a soft hum, warring between the two ideas.]
We could meet tomorrow for coffee or breakfast before work. Or lunch, since we're both on shift. [Another pause.] Maybe we can go out to dinner afterwards...
[And falls silent, his smile vanishing. Because those are all lies. They're not what he wants. And he knows it. And Rin knows it. His eyes lower and he lists over the sidewalk below, voice dropping to something quiet and intimate, unable to hide the longing in his words.]
Tell me... and I'll come to you right now.
no subject
Date: 2015-10-06 08:08 am (UTC)You're worth it too.
[And he means it, even if he doesn't show it or express it as well as Sousuke. Funny, considering between the two of them, Rin's usually the first to react to anything, never afraid to let his emotions off the leash.
Oh, but his question– Rin stares forward as Sousuke thinks, his eyes absently watching his distorted reflection in the tub faucet, and for a moment he starts to curl his toes with anticipation. Maybe he's... being too pushy about this. Or needy. Maybe Sousuke doesn't even want to see him yet. Thankfully, that doesn't seem to be the case, and Rin can breathe a little easier knowing he's just worried over nothing at all. And yet– It's far too easy to tell the emptiness behind those suggestions. He knows him too well.
... Rin sighs and the water around him, now turning cold, splashes a bit as he shifts again to keep his legs from falling asleep.]
You know what would happen if I told you to do that.
[Another bittersweet smile, though it falters a little the more he speaks]
It'd be hard... letting you go again. Weeks and years–
[I don't want to see you only to watch you go and stay gone for so long again. You can't turn into only words too. Rin shakes his head because he knows how dumb it sounds and how ridiculous he must be acting to be thinking this way in the first place... but he can't help himself either.]
... I'll leave the door unlocked.
[Who is he kidding. Come to me right now. Please.]
no subject
Date: 2015-10-07 06:21 am (UTC)[Sousuke's tried not to dwell much on what they haven't done; it only makes him think of what they don't have together. And that creates problems. He's tried to accept it, pretend that it's all right. Just like he'd done for years now. But sometimes, it's not so easy. Those fights all the time, mixtures of a heated rage and playful teasing, don't really happen much anymore. Some part of him should be relieved; most of him simply misses it.
You're worth it too.
It's a nice thought. To hear Rin say it lays a gentle relief on his chest and settles some of the quiet waters stirring beneath the ice. He wants to believe it. Because Rin doesn't say those kinds of things as often as Sousuke does, strange as that is since the shark is far louder and direct about his feelings (most of the time) than the whale shark. Funny, that they can be so inverted compared to their usual selves sometimes.
But all of that goes on hold when he gives his answer. Those words that mean nothing, only cover up the truth until he finally says it. And then he's left with a gaping feeling, wondering. Did he come off as flippant, dismissive of Rin's feelings? Is he going too fast, making that kind of promise? Does Rin even want him to come over so quickly, right now? The only thing he can do is wait and listen... and finally offer a silent, self-depreciating smile at his own worries. Really, Sousuke, you think too much. How'd he think he could hide that from someone who knows him too well...
He's already pushing away from the window before Rin starts speaking. That understanding goes both ways, whether they like it or not.]
Aa.
[For a long time, he didn't “miss” Rin, merely understood he had to go and move on. But lies only stretch so far. That same, soft, sad smile appears again as he reaches up and rests his hand over the connector of his shoulder brace. And then quietly undoes the connector. The pressure and grip loosens and he tenses up slightly as everything pours down his arm and across his chest. It's relief and agony all at the same time and the strap slips off his torso with an easy motion. It is hard... letting Rin go every time he sees him.
I wish every meeting didn't end with a goodbye. I want to go home together and fall asleep to the sound of your breath. He's quiet as he works, peeling the black material away until the hard plastic shell loosens and slides off the curve of his shoulder. It's really a strange feeling each time, almost like putting on and taking off some kind of mask from his face. Because he knows he's lying. And Rin... his romantic, maniac, fiery, crybaby... beloved best friend... has no idea.
By the time Rin tells him the door's unlocked, Sousuke slides the brace off his arm completely and returns it to the secret place he stores it in. It's not much longer before he's pulling on a pair of clothes, simple jeans, a dark tank top, and a button down shirt to go over it.]
Wait for me.
[He heads to the front, leaves a note for Momotarou (though he thinks his roommate's already spending the night with a friend, last they talked, so probably a moot point), and slips on his shoes. Giving on last look around the townhouse, he finally steps out into the autumn air and locks the door behind him.]
At least it's not raining tonight.
no subject
Date: 2015-10-07 06:51 am (UTC)Rin. You think too much.
Shaking his head, he finds some odd comfort in listening to Sousuke quietly move around on the other end even without looking he can already guess what he's doing. He's putting on pants, maybe a plain shirt or tank top, and a clean button down like he always does... Hm. His predictable, silly, quiet and lovable idiot of a best friend... Just how long are they going to be this way?]
Mm, wouldn't want you to get sick again.
[he says with a laugh, head tilted back while he stretches his legs out in the tub. There's hardly any heat left in the bath and almost all the suds have popped by now, so Rin slowly pushes himself up so he can step out and proceed to leave a nice trail of water on the bathroom floor and all the way out into the hallway. He's not bothering with clothes right now just to saunter over and unlock the front door, but he has to admit, the look his cat gives him before darting away into the kitchen is almost worth it. A scoff and he heads back to drain the water.]
And I'm not exactly dressed to go running after you this time either.
no subject
Date: 2015-10-07 07:09 am (UTC)oftentimeshe finds himself wondering the same. As headstrong and self-reliant as he is, “who is Sousuke now?” drifts around his mind. He knows Rin's thinking the same thing. Both of them have such pride with those tall ambitions and intense focuses. He's told Rin before that nothing Ariel does can stop Rin from being Rin... but... how can he say that when “Sousuke” doesn't feel like himself in his own skin. “Sousuke” doesn't go walking out into a city in the middle of the night. “Sousuke” doesn't stand around naked with his shoulder brace on staring up at the stars. “Sousuke” doesn't get broken... “Sousuke” doesn't feel lonely.But you're lying.
He sighs, glancing over his shoulder towards his townhouse again. Someday, he needs to learn not to think so much. Whatever happened to all that self-reliance? Or has it become just another mask to wear? He contents himself with the soft sounds of Rin still in the tub, idly wondering how long he's been in there as he turns to face the sidewalk again, shoving his hands into his pockets like normal. Ne, Rin... Are we ever going to get better?]
Hn, you got sick too, so shut up.
[He has to laugh a little at the memory. It remains in his heart, tender and ever-warm. The night he finally confessed those feelings. He glances up at the sudden sound of sloshing water. Without the sound of a towel whipping off the hook either. Honestly, Rin...]
I see. Make me get dressed and walk while you walk around naked and pour water all over the floor.
no subject
Date: 2015-10-07 07:23 am (UTC)[But it was worth it, he finds, and looking back on it, it's one of their more memorable moments together, if he's honest. Something straight out of the silver screen, something cheesy and cute and what he's sure Gou would have dragged him to watch on the weekends back home. Sometimes he still can't believe this isn't all a dream...
The water's gurgling as it circles down the drain and in the meantime, Rin reaches over towards the towel rack so he can properly dry himself off. ... Or at least he would if not for Sousuke's last comment. He pauses and with a small grin lowers his arm instead.]
Are you complaining?
no subject
Date: 2015-10-07 07:32 am (UTC)[For Sousuke, it's the one moment here in Ariel he wants to remember more than any of them. There are several he treasures, even in this stupid place, but that memory... was the romantic maniac his best friend always was. Normally he would've scoffed at the idea of Rin and himself even being a part of one of those scenes. But... it happened, and he loved it. Finally getting to say those words.
There's the water draining... and he's still not hearing any flip of towel from hook or rung. He's about to ask when a question comes through. Oh really... is this the game they're going to play now? It's not like he can't hear that grin in your voice, Rin.]
Maybe a little.
[He's gonna get something for this.]
no subject
Date: 2015-10-07 07:52 am (UTC)A little? Ouch.
[This time he does reach for his towel and after tugging it from the rack he holds it in both hands, contemplating if he should drape it over his head or tie it around his waist... Which would make Sousuke complain more?]
Then I guess for you I should make myself decent.
no subject
Date: 2015-10-07 08:01 am (UTC)Don't “ouch” me. You know why I'm complai--
[That sound is unmistakable; the towel's off the rack and he knows Rin's holding it. Still hasn't wrapped it or draped it yet... (man, you think he'd shared a bathroom with the guy at some point to know this kind of stuff). He frowns and picks up his pace. Just a little.]
Now you're being mean.
no subject
Date: 2015-10-07 08:12 am (UTC)He holds back a laugh as water drips from his hair onto the floor and he can't help but shiver too since, you know, he is stark naked. It'll be worth it though, if he can listen to Sousuke talk like this for a little while longer. He still has the towel in his hands but the most he does is stare at it, contemplating. Or at least pretending to.
Hey, if it might get Sousuke to him faster, then why not?]
How? You said you were complaining a little. I'm just trying to do something nice for you.
no subject
Date: 2015-10-07 08:22 am (UTC)He heaves an obvious sigh across the network, hoping it weighs down on Rin's shoulders for even a moment. Putting the tease on him while he's walking over to his place. This is one of the times he questions why they're still friends. Surely a best friend wouldn't be doing this kind of thing right now.]
Nice. Right.
[His droning voice is only half-playful.]
I'm only complaining because I'm not there yet.
no subject
Date: 2015-10-07 08:28 am (UTC)You will be.
[But a beat later, quieter and a little breathy,]
... But will you be here in time to still see me all wet?
no subject
Date: 2015-10-07 08:41 am (UTC)Rin's humming... Sousuke relaxes a little, his gait smoothing as he settles into the sound.]
I know.
[Ugh, that question. In that voice. The correct answer is, “Yes” so long as he doesn't get lost. But he totally knows where he's going! He'll be there on time.]
If you're dry by then, I wouldn't say no to getting you all wet again.
no subject
Date: 2015-10-07 08:55 am (UTC)Sighing, he leans up against the wall beside the towel rack and tucks a few damp strands of hair behind his ear to keep himself occupied. Those words...]
Mmn, but I just finished getting clean.
[And as if for emphasis, he lets a hand pass over his still slick skin, starting at his stomach then making its way down to his right thigh. Yeah. Sure does still sound and feel wet to him... but not for much longer.]
no subject
Date: 2015-10-08 06:14 am (UTC)I meant I'd get in the tub with you, romantic pervert.
[Sure. Sousuke's not saying anything though as he reaches up and races a hand through his hair. Honestly, lounging in a warm bath with Rin sounds like a great idea right now--]
... are you rubbing yourself like that on purpose?
[He sounds so amused.]
no subject
Date: 2015-10-08 06:40 am (UTC)Get in the tub with him...]
I just drained all the water, you know. And my fingers are going to shrivel up.
[Still, there's no denying that does sound like a great idea. Besides, the tub's big enough (it was the only thing Haru cared about when they searched for an apartment for themselves at first). But onto that question,]
Why would I do that?
[His hand stops, caught in the act.]
no subject
Date: 2015-10-08 06:53 am (UTC)Then you can watch me soak in the tub while you play with your hair dryer.
[Don't lie; he knows you'll sit there for minutes on end just doe-eyeing at the mirror as you pass the drier back and forth in front of your face. Sure, “it's for my hair” only works the first three times. Besides, he can use a soak in the top. Frosting himself in front of the window and now walking over here. It's earned.
A soft growl comes over the network (maybe hiding a whine).]
Because you like pushing my buttons.
no subject
Date: 2015-10-08 07:08 am (UTC)[Rin clicks his tongue and soon after he glances up at the vanity mirror across from him so he can take in his reflection for the first time that evening. It's funny... He's been avoiding looking at himself for a long time, too afraid of the memories that will undoubtably stir when he sees the fading marks and scuffs on his naked body. But they're gone now and nothing remains but Rin himself, standing cold and dripping... maybe a little slimmer since he hasn't been as on top of his diet lately.
One arm crosses over his chest and out of habit his free one comes up one more time so the pads of his fingers brush the back and side of his neck.]
... Anyway. I can think of better things I'd want to play with.
[Up to interpretation, but with the way he says it–slower and tapered off with a purr–there should only be one to consider.]
no subject
Date: 2015-10-08 07:34 am (UTC)[The smirk in his voice is clear and he rounds another corner, grateful to find himself still recognizing the area around him. He wishes he could get there faster, knowing Rin's still standing around, dripping and probably cold. He knows what he wants but... That purring voice drifts into his ears and Sousuke can't help a little shiver rush down the length of his spine. Seriously, Rin, how cruel, doing that to him when he knows full well how it affects him. Stupid purr...]
Careful. Those things might play with you back
[How long's it been since he's engaged in this kind of playful double entendre banter? Teasing that usually came so easily with Rin. It rolls off his tongue and yet he wonders if it'll suddenly sound weird at any moment. Sousuke pushes the thought away, not wanting this to dive down again. Another thing that's anonyingly frequent around them now... His voice is a little softer when he speaks again.]
Oy, you should dry off, get warm. I'll be another few minutes and I don't want you catching cold.
no subject
Date: 2015-10-08 07:54 am (UTC)[Which is of course a lie, but, they're on a roll with this fun and immature behavior tonight. He doesn't want to see that fire die out too soon. That's one of the reasons why he kept his towel on the rack and why he's still standing around with cold feet and red cheeks even at the expense of his poor cat's sanity.
It's hard to keep poking fun at Sousuke when he expresses his concern though, because lately– Lately it's been really getting to him and turning his heart into mush. They do look out for each other, they do have one another's back, but saying it and showing it like this, so gently and sincere...? He almost wants to pinch himself.
What happened in Australia? I never asked before... but now I think I need to know.
Rin doesn't say anything right away, too occupied with staring at the sink and tracing meaningless shapes against his neck, but when he does, he tries to match Sousuke's soft tone as best he can, determined to meet him eye to eye and keep them balanced as they always should be.]
... Sousuke.
[he starts, any hint of teasing gone from his voice, though his tone is light and airy... hopeful.]
Can I ask you a favor?
no subject
Date: 2015-10-08 08:51 am (UTC)[Definitely sounds like he believes that. He's still walking forward, in cause you haven't noticed. Even though he could turn around and go home right now. Which he won't. Obviously. It feels nice though, tossing those taunts and boyish things back at each other one after the other. He double takes on the street name again, makes a face when the raunchy title checks out. (Honestly, Ariel, even the streets?)
But he can't help the concern; it's just... something. Natural maybe. Rin's that important to him and even though they respect those boundaries between each other, it's not the first time Sousuke's nagged Rin to do something healthy. Oy, put a bandaid on it before it gets infected. Teacher's gonna yell at you for running with those scissors. Hey Gou, if Rin wears this magic hat, it'll make him feel better. He was such a good little brat back then.
Now, however, there aren't as many grins or smug faces, but the softer voice and eyes, honestly concerned about his best friend's comfort. It's horribly cliché, but when Rin feels better, Sousuke feels better. It's why he's willing to accept his fate so long as it means Rin will get to be happy in his... He can live with that.]
Hm?
[It's a small noise, the sound of interrupted thoughts, and he glances up from the sidewalk, as if he might see Rin standing beside him. But there's no one; Rin's still in his head. So he holds onto his voice, as much as he's held onto the letters in the past. A favor?]
Aa. What is it?
[Is this honest or is he getting teased again...]
no subject
Date: 2015-10-08 09:19 pm (UTC)Anyway, he does appreciate the concern, even when it turns to nagging, especially now more than ever when he could use a reminder now and again to look out for himself a little better. But he isn't naked on accident here. He isn't sick in bed on Christmas morning because he accidentally spent too much time in the cold without a scarf. He isn't sniffling over a scratch on the knee after tripping in front of the wharf. He's purposely stripped down right now because he wants Sousuke to show up sooner. He wants to hear him nag, he wants to hear him talk about it and talk about him. Selfish, he knows, but he can't help it.
... He misses him.
After taking a deep breath, he crosses his arms and holds onto both elbows, head hung for damp and cold bangs to cover his face and let water drip onto his toes.]
... When you open my door– Can you say what you usually say? Like when we come back to our dorm at school at the end of the day...
["I'm home."]
I– I want to call back to you.
["Welcome home."]
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From: